Polk recommends deciding on a timeframe for the separation, for example, setting a firm date for when you’ll both come back together and decide whether you’ll stay together, take more time apart, or break up. That’s why it’s important to set firm expectations before you separate. However, if one of you just wants space to grieve the relationship and has no intention of learning new tools to deal with your issues, space won’t help anything. “If spend time away with the intention to work on themselves and come back to improve the relationship, it can be useful.” “Just taking time away will not make the issues and problematic dynamics in your relationship magically disappear,” Ruiz continues.
#Should i take a break from my relationship tv
The key is to establish the rules and parameters around the break ahead of time - something that Ross and Rachel didn’t do in the TV show “Friends.” That’s because a break only works if you make the most of your time away from each other and you’re both on the same page regarding the purpose of the break.īeing on the same page includes setting the boundaries of the break, such as whether the two of you are expected to withhold from being intimate with other people. “If people refuse for someone to have space, then they are more than likely to actually push their partner into breaking up.” In fact, says Omar Ruiz, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Wellesley, Massachusetts, denying a break could be worse. Taking time apart doesn’t have to be a precursor to a breakup or divorce. “When people are trapped in a vicious or unhealthy cycle and their nervous systems are activated, and their brains are hijacked by emotion, it can be hard to think clearly,” says Pauline Yeghnazar Peck, a licensed psychologist in New York and California.Ī little space, therefore, can give couples time to create a plan to work through their issues in a healthier way. Taking time apart can allow you both to think about the issues in your relationship, cool off, learn new coping strategies, and come back together with a different lens or perspective that can be difficult to have when you’re together and actively fighting through your issues.
For example, Polk says he sometimes suggests it if a couple has intense fights in front of their kids.
That’s why some couples therapists might even suggest a break or taking space to a couple. “Space can heal a relationship,” explains Jason Polk, a licensed clinical social worker and couples therapist in Denver, Colorado, “especially if the couple is currently toxic or verbally abusive to each other.” In short: yes - as long as both people in the relationship want it to.
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